‘Mirroring others’ was my survival technique.
Acting out their emotions was natural to me because it kept me in their vibration and kept them comfortable….. in their uncomfortable-ness.
If I was to call them out on their bullshit I’d be the one hurting.
Or so I’d expect coming from a past full of abuse and disrespect.
It’s a skill I adapted as a child- to protect myself from them.
If they saw me pushing their comfort zones I was in trouble. Big trouble. Their triggers would flare and shit would hit the fan.
So I adapted.
Except not being able to be fully myself was hurting me even worse.
Yes I’m 100% sensitive
Yes I’m very empathetic
Yes this just comes naturally,
I can feel into things so easily…
but that shouldn’t come at the cost of my happiness, my health, my sanity, my choices for my life.
Today that ended.
Today I let go of that pattern.
Today I’m starting over.
Today is the first day of a new beginning.
N I’m going to be completely honest with you here….
This was not easy.
This was a long journey.
This took a lot of awareness and courage.
But this morning I just woke up, grouchy about the day before, and knew it was time to change.
I had to have massive patience.
I had to let the story unfold,
I had to put the pieces in place to be strong enough to let go.
But I was there.
I am here.
And this is a crucial part of my teachings.
Helping people step out of their unhealthy patterning.
This was my hardest one yet because it had a different twist than my normal forgiveness technique, although that’s exactly what I used to shift it!
The twist was I forgave myself.
I spent days trying to forgive each of the people I felt was hurting me…. and yes that still requires me to forgive myself in the same process.
But today I stuck myself in the hot seat… no one else required.
I had a deep heart to heart with my wounded self and we unraveled those deep patterns.
I stepped out of the line of fire.
I no longer resonate with those wounded people in the same way.
And it’s going to help me step into my self that much more.
I won’t feel the physical pain of others discomfort anymore…. or my discomfort around them.
I’ll be able to just be me.
So here I am, more me than I’ve ever been.
And all I can say is welcome 