This is so hard for some people. (This definitely was the case for me.)
Why would I disconnect from something I love?
Why would I not hold on with two hands and never let go.
Why wouldn’t I rope my dreams and make sure I never stray from them.
Why wouldn’t I be with my friends and family during hard times and cry with them?
Or celebrate their joys and accomplishments?
I do all of that still, just in a different way.
I don’t lose myself in the process anymore.
I still love
I still dream
I still sit with friends in hard times
And laugh and celebrate with family in the good times.
Empathy, sensitivity, intuition are all amazing gifts if we use them properly.
And in the energy healing classes, all over the internet or amongst spiritual circles they’ll preach, “shield yourself, protect yourself”
And so I’ve been doing this for years.
For me, it didn’t work.
It was restrictive. It was hard energetic work every single day.
There had to be a better way.
How do I be where I do not have to protect myself in the first place.
Why are the energies still so forceful in my direction where I have to redirect or block them.
I felt like an energy ninja. Always repelling, blocking, protecting, clearing.
And there might be a piece of this still, but my body said there’s got to be a better way!!!!
And I’d already felt in the experiences where I’ve disconnected from other friends and family that I still talk to and associate with but I’m not part of any of their drama.
But the ones closest to me, the ones where the emotions still ran deep, were pulling me in all kinds of directions.
They’d hooked into me, and I let them.
We were connected. I felt them.
So even though everyday I was playing ninja warrior with energetic emotions and situations, we were still connected.
That’s why the energy emotional arrows were still flying in my direction.
So I really thought… what the hell, why don’t I just disconnect from their story.
And I just let go!
And I say this lightly, but it was not easy at all.
Simple, but not easy… however I was ready.
I searched my body for any energetic hooks, cords, or any attachments to others.
This included people, animals, dreams, and things…
I disconnected from those closest to me and all the way back to childhood if I still had an attachment (I had done this many times before so some had already been removed)
I disconnected from any expectations and connections I had of any animals I’d ever had. They were no more expected to fulfill my wishes and commands. From now on it’s just total partnership.
I let go of any dreams I still had attachment too. Of course I still have experiences in mind that I’d be so happy if they came true, but I put no restrictions on them at all.
My heart knows my desires. My mind doesn’t have to continue to fixate on them.
And things…. my attachment to anything that I felt would make me feel better. Or improve my life. I don’t need improving or have anything to prove. I’m just me and I’ll be ok with or without any of this stuff I have around me.
That doesn’t mean I left the relationships, or got rid of the animals, stopped dreaming or got rid of my things…. I’m still surrounded by everything that was there before. I’m just no longer attached to it and have no expectations of it.
The gratitude is still there. Every moment I’m so very grateful for all of these things, the people, the animals and the experiences that light up my life.
My love runs deeper than ever and shines brighter than even I can ever know.
Disconnecting did not lessen these at all, it actually enhanced it.
My deep sensitivity is still a major part of me, I just carry it differently these days.
Being with this is very new to my experience and feeling into my energetic gifts and my deep sense of sensitivity that I feel to the very core of my being is something I have just really embraced.
I’ve been learning about, practicing and even teaching energy healing for 10 years now, but we all continue to grow and learn, our stories continue to unfold as we continue along this path.
And mine just started blooming with the melt of the winter snow, opening to the feel of the spring breeze and lighting up with the rays of the beating sun 