Last night in deep contemplation (after a session with the horses and a conversation with a friend) I sat with one of my false beliefs.
This one has been revealing itself in layers and through different conversations and different experiences I am finding my way through.
As I sat in the field I continued to have this reoccurring thought. It was clearly a false belief system. A negative mindset that I knew was not true to my higher self so I pushed it aside.
I wanted to feel inspired and connected and feel the truth of who I was while I sat in this divine space.
But it kept coming back. And I continued to set it aside.
So as I sat inside after my time with the horses I messaged a friend and said, “ok, what am I missing here!”
I went out to become relaxed and feel fulfilled. I didn’t feel down, but I did not get the connection and inspiration I was hoping for.
So we chatted a few minutes and it became instantly clear that the message I was receiving while with the horses, although not enlightened or inspiring, was relevant to my situation and exactly what I needed to acknowledge.
So I acknowledged it… within myself, within my mother, within my grandmother, within her mother, and all the way back down the line… more than 7 generations back.
Back when females were treated as possessions and had little to no say in their lives.
Back to the 1700’s. Back to when my ancestral grandmother was traded from her native community to become wife to the European fur trader.
She had no say.
Woman for a very long time have had little to no say in their own lives. It’s only been in the last little while where things have changed.
I’m now rewriting our generational story. I get a say. I’m taking my power back. We live in a time now where this is possible.
This is not something that I need to hold onto. This is a pattern that it’s time to break.
This is not, either, something I sought out to do consciously. There was no anger or resentment held for her (or any of my grandmothers) experiences, but there was a continuing of this pattern playing out in my own life.
I needed to be able to find the power within to speak my truth. And not be ashamed as I did so.
I needed to feel the strength of connection and not control.
I needed to feel seen and honoured for who I am.
The cycle needed to be broken.
I’ve done so much work already in my ancestral realm and so much more from my own past lives.
There is a reason my spirit came to this world into this family. It’s caused me my most grief, but also my most healing.
I don’t know if these families needed me or I needed them, but here together we can heal the hearts of those that come before us and those that are yet to come…. 7 generations back, and 7 generations forward. 