Two years ago this horse absolutely hated me.
Not that I did anything bad to her – we just didn’t connect.
She wouldn’t come around me. She always stayed to the back of the pen. Played hard to catch.
And when caught- I could see her trying and me trying our best but there was a huge disconnect there.
She didn’t understand- I didn’t understand.
But she was supposed to be my dream come true.
She was not lame. Not too young. Not too old. Well trained. And held huge potential- for both of us…
We tried so hard to make it work.
I cried so many tears.
I pulled out all the cards. I took lessons and classes and studied all the books.
But lessons and classes and studies did not fix our relationship.
What I was also doing along side of that was healing.
I was healing me.
I was undoing the anger. I was undoing the resentment. I was undoing the hurt. I was undoing the grief. I was undoing the pain.
I just kept healing.
Until I rewrote my whole sappy story.
I found forgiveness, acceptance, peace, joy, love, spirit, support, worthiness….
I just soaked it all in.
I just kept going. Anytime I felt an overwhelm of emotion, anxiety, depression, grief.
I just kept going.
Fast forward to today… I said two years later but really it’s been 7 years together.
Five years trying really hard to get it together.
And two years of letting it just unfold as it will.
And the whole while just undoing everything.
Today she comes to me of her own free will and stands along side me ASKING for my companionship.
Asking for my gifts. Helping me step forward into who I’m truly meant to be.