I had a pretty traumatic experience this past week… according to my mind.
Really, I was just sitting in a warm vehicle in the middle of Alberta, Canada in the middle of February while it snowed. (It was pretty snow, but tell my nerves that!) I was just trying to get to my destination, but the weather had other plans.
Instantly, I went right back to my old conditioning and I was freaking out. I never drive in snow storms, especially on busy highways, up and down hills and over rivers. I was getting passed by maniacs and it was instant white outs. Great, that’s right blind the nervous wreck of a driver trying to be cautious while you blow past me swerving to get in front. (If it was not that they were tailgating me!)
I was only about 10 kilometers out of the city so I instantly pulled over, but I was on a divided highway… how do I turn around. My muscles went tense, my brain went crazy and my entire body was saying, “You are going to die!”
Well, I didn’t die. I found the next approach, turned around and made my way back to town. OK, I was safe… but I was not at my destination… I was stranded in a town I knew nothing of and as far as I knew all the hotels were full! Again, I was sure I was going to DIE! I would have to sleep in my truck, and if I didn’t run out of gas, money, or get murdered in my sleep, I was sure I’d die freezing to death…
Now I know this stuff is not unheard of … BUT GET REAL ROXY! I found a hotel with a bed, I ate a warm supper and I even managed to get a little company that night when Troy showed up to save the “damsel in distress.” The next day the roads were clear and the weather was gorgeous! I was still a little shaken up, but I was clearly alive and well. We made it to our destination, we didn’t miss any of our planned outings, and everything went off with out a hitch.
The point of my story is, “THIS TOO SHALL PASS.” The difference between this experience and the last snow storms I drove through was that this one took about a week to ‘let go of’. The rest I have been holding onto until this day. I placed blame on myself, the vehicle, the timing, mother nature; I held onto the guilt, the shame, and the anger of all those experiences letting them shape my future and my reactions the next time that situation came around.
But I learned a very valuable lesson for all experiences big or small! LET THEM GO. The moment has passed. Don’t carry those emotions, those mentalities, those negative physical reactions with you. They have passed and now you are free to allow yourself to change your thoughts and reactions for the next experience.
A lot of us carry “baggage”. We all have a lot of past baggage, and maybe we need to learn how to just let that go; mentally, emotionally, and physically… because it just weighs us down. It blurs our perceptions and it creates preconditioned judgements of the present moment, those in turn lead to limitations of our future.
I took a deep look at what I had just experienced. I felt all of the emotions, I just let them come, I acknowledged them and then I let them go. And I even drove home through a snow storm today. (Although the snow storms in Saskatchewan aren’t as bad as the ones in Alberta 😉 )
I am learning to just let go of all my judgements. All of my miss perceptions and just accept life for exactly as it is! And there was exactly a snow storm last Thursday in Alberta in which I did not drive through. But that is OK with me.