(caution harsh language ahead)
I was so ANGRY. I was frustrated. What the hell was I supposed to do now?
I sat there. With no clue of what was truly going on, but with this huge huge feeling of anger and resentment.
I’d done my meditation, I’d breathed, I sent positive energy to the situation, I’d talked to my soul, I asked my angels for help… I did it all. Everything I knew how to rewrite this feeling.
I knew it was ‘coming up’ to be healed, but I was out of options.
All I could feel was this feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like it was in knots. And I was angry at the world. But honestly at no one or nothing in particular.
So I yelled.
Internally, in my head.
and I aimed my anger at God. If anyone could help me it was him. So I knocked on his door.
And I YELLED. I was mad. Like how the fuck was I supposed to get out of something that I didn’t cause. That wasn’t mine. That I couldn’t change. That came from lifetimes ago. Or from past relatives or DNA or experiences that I didn’t even fucking have.
That I was stuck on this world in this sensitive fucking body and all I can do is feel shit day and night. I was tired. And I was out of options.
And you know what happened. He thanked me. He gave me an “energetic” hug. I felt a smile come to his face. And he said I’d turned to the right place. I kept turning inside, and trying to do it all myself… but what I needed to do was turn outside my self and ask.
Trust is the answer. Trust the universe. Trust God. Recognize that you need to let go of so many preconceived notions that you have about how this world works.
Surrender.
And when you think you’ve surrendered.
Surrender some more.
Turn to the Universe and trust you are doing what you can.
Let it out. Let your baggage go.
This work is never done. So we must just continue to surrender. Continue to trust. Continue to let go.
It’s a full moon this weekend and the winter solstice so be gentle with yourselves. Give yourself some space to relax and release. And it’s also the beginning of the holidays. So love on all of your family and friends and give a little extra this holiday season. ?