I recently did a ten year de-clutter of my office closet. This is stuff I have accumulated since high school. I stored it at my parents house while I was still accumulating it, and then I proceeded to haul it to Grande Prairie and then right back to Saskatchewan. I knew it was all unsorted papers and ‘stuff’ that had to be gone through but I just couldn’t do it… I just kept accumulating.
This winter was that time to de-clutter, and what a perfect time it was. It gave me a chance to sort through, and take note of my life thus far. It was a few weeks of reminiscing and remembering events of my past, but also of taking a fresh clear look at who I was and who I really am. It revealed the TRUTH behind all of the lies and the emotions.
There were a lot of clear stages in my life. I went through a lot of shifts and changes. School, jobs, relationships, etc, but there were a few things that were clear through out!
1) I was completely TWO-FACED. I had a very clear intuitive side and a huge spirit that tried to shine, and when it did I LOVED being me and the world loved me when I was just being me! But I also carried this EGO. This inner demon, these thoughts, beliefs, and lies in my mind that continuously told me ‘to not be me’, and ‘to not believe and trust in myself’. I was following all of these rules put on me by society. All of these fears were holding me back from life. Even when I struck forward they were holding me back from the success and lessons I deserved. I was limiting my happiness, my life, and my success. I was constantly fighting with myself on what was right and what was wrong… according to other peoples standards.
2) BUT one good thing has come of this, I found out who I truly am! Sprinkled in amongst all that ego was glimpses of who I really am inside, and who I am meant to be, and the road I am meant to follow. Some people say, “Why did it take you so long to figure this out?”. Well, in one way… yes it took me 28 years, but some people never figure out who they really are, so I think I am doing pretty good! I am only 28 and now I can go forward and be the best me that only I know how to be. I can let all the judgements, beliefs and lies fade away so I can truly shine.
3) AND by finding out who I truly am, I am guided to follow the path that is only mine to take. I can have successes that no one else can lead me to, and I can banish the limitations and fears that have been taught to me. They are no longer mine to hold onto. This world is free for me to explore in anyway I’d like. I can create the life and experiences that I long for and I can find happiness and success in every way while I go forth.
The grass really is greener on the other side. And I stand somewhere over my hill of past experiences, but I am staring at my new mountain of opportunity. I say BRING IT ON. I can’t wait. Before I would have been SCARED to conquer such a huge feat, but not anymore. Here I go, one day at a time, and when the day comes I will “rest high upon my mountain.”