My lesson about trust and respect today.
When I arrived at the pasture I was all alone and the horses were all out grazing.
But since I have made this comfy seat for myself where I can see the horses and cows plus play with the cats and my dog I sat down to enjoy my time out here.
As I began to watch the action and dream about what’s possible for the future I settled on the trust and respect theme.
As I sat here I imagined myself in conversation with the horses. I said to them, “ I trust you, do you trust me?” And then I waited for the truth to arise.
Did I really trust them? Did I really trust me? In what situations was I more trusting and which ones less?
When I sat here pondering the question around trust Storm came up to me, she walked between me and the fence and stopped with her hind end right near my face.
I had two choices. I could trust …. or I could move out of fear of what might possibly happen.
I chose to trust.
And then she walked on.
Time went on and things shifted a bit.
A calf came running along one side of the fence with my curious horse chasing it from the other side….
He ran right up to me. Not in a panic, not in fear but in exuberance.
And I gently said to him as he approached. “Do not run me over”
I was asking him to respect my space.
And he stopped and gently walked over to me for a few pets.
Sometimes it’s hard to understand and know when it’s the right time to trust. And when it’s the right time to ask for respect.
It’s similar to the horseman’s concepts of drive and draw.
One you are asking them to trust in you and come near as you build your relationship and connection.
The other you are asking them to go away from you and respect your space and guidance/leadership.
But while working on building this you must be clear inside of what you need of them and yourself.
… all I know is these concepts I have had to work extra hard to understand and build in myself because when you suffer from PTSD and anxiety these concepts don’t come naturally.
When your life is driven by fear it’s hard to find that place of trust inside of you.
When you have in the past been disrespected over and over, gaining that respect and asking for it doesn’t come easily.
But even if you don’t have a history of trauma abuse these concepts apply just as much.
For some it might just be easier to step into these lessons than it is others.
But that doesn’t make it better or worse, that just means your journey forward looks different.
Everyone’s journey is unique to their own situation and having the courage and willingness is all it takes to look at your own experiences and find that place of grace inside.